I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
