smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
