my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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