You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
