How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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