bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
