They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
