we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
is wine microwaveable?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
