Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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