Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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