she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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