Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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