Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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