She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
this is an emotional support booty call
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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