Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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