Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
