It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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