Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
