Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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