They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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