38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
