I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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