i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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