I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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