She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
