They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
be right there i have to get my cape
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
