So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
