Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
