Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
