I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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