Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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