I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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