dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
