Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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