Don't make out with my wife yet
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
