I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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