So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
