So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
