Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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