i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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