He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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