he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
