I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
