Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
