Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can you bring me the toilet please
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
