Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she looked like the before picture.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
