its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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