I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
