Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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