You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
