im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
